By that - to wear a nice skirt or some nice heels with impunity and it only to draw pleasant comments.
As I came to terms with my wish to wear girls clothes there is a bit of a personal journey to over come.
I resisted dressing fully for ages - I kept telling myself it was just a thing for tights, lycra etc...but I kept hankering after it...I'm not a tranny...I'm not a tranny..until I gave in and told myself I owed it to myself to see if i liked it.
I hadn't really dressed up properly when I first started - more dancewear..sheers - tried a dress of the mum when about 14...didn't help her catching me in it. (another tale). But there was something special about having my 'own' girls clothes.
In the days before internet shopping I used to be scared - terrified I would get a smirk or a comment and I would die of shame picking up a skirt dress or size 7 heels or some tights and the lady in the shop just knowing they were for me.
All terribly embarrassing.
However - the change comes as you slowly tell people. I have told a all those I wish to about my dressing. The response varies from 'no problem...so..? to 'Oh my god...I have to see you in a dress and we are definitely going out.'
The big break though is plucking up the courage to ask a shop - do you mind if a guy comes in and tries something on - I'm buying a dress for a party or similar'.
Interestingly - some places are trained to be ok with it - if you ask permission, that sort of thing.
I did buy the odd thing in shops - but Internet shopping is a godsend - but it is a pain - you never really know till you try it on.
Now - every cross dresser dreams of wandering into a cool funky shop in their best - being served by friendly helpful staff and making a selection, trying them on - just like a girl would.
Secend best going in male stuff and and getting to try girls things on and them not minding.
I had pondered it for ages but never had the courage - not mindset nor confidence. But having told Three girls I knew and trusted I decided I would take the plunge buy a really nice dress and meet them.
So I called a large branch of John Lewis in the midlands...they do fashion advice - I need some guidance.
It went something like this:
Hello Fashion advice?
Hello I wonder if you can help me - I understand John Lewis has a policy towards transvestites or credss dressers?
Yes sir we have some guidelines.
Ok. (gulp) I would just like soe advice on dress shapes, colours etc? I'm meeting some friends and it will be my first time out so I want to look decent. More than happy to take them home and try them there - but really - I could juust do with a few pointers?
Not a problem at all - what size are you?
About a 12is - size 7 shoe.
Ok - how tall...
Im only 5'3.
Oh perfect! Be delighted - and you can try them on here if you want to!'
She took my name and made an appointment.
Next day...heart in mouth - but with the precaution of decent nylons, my spare fillets and a slimming lace body on uder my t-shirt and jeans I shyly introduced nyself to a sweet looking middle aged lady.
'Hello! Lets go the room and have a quick work out of what you are looking for.'
She led me to the private 'boudoir' resplkendant with glossies, gilt chairs and mirrors.'
'Now we dont nnormally do this but as you were so nice - you deserve this - don't be shy it's all fine. Now have you got any tights, bra, heels?
I wear tights all the time and i have a bdy / chicken fillets. (double gulp)
'well - lets have a look at you! '
She looked me up and down
'Wow - you have seriously nice kegs and bum. and you shave them. fantastic- we will need to show those off'.
Ballet, so in and I wear my sheers all the time as well!
Me too - it's kind of a properly dressed thing isnt it! Now pop them back on and lets hit the floor.
15 minutes later I had over a £1000 of dresses in the changing room.
She took me through them - zipping me up - getting different sizes etc.
Sheer total heaven.
Not ina pervy way - just enjoyable to try so many things.
We settle on 3. Blue silk coast, grey shift with a frill from French Connection and a nude French Connection peplum cowl neck shift.
At the last on she said:
'I have seen the shoes for that...wait there....'
She came back with the most gorgeous nude heels fron Kurt Geiger i have ever seen.
Try it with those heels.
I was in love. Credit card handed over instantly.
You will loook gorgeous and you can come back anytime for me - a pleasure to make some one so happy. You can even come back in a dress if you are fully made up.
Oh. my. god.
This is the secret - if you look shifty and sheepish people treat you the same.
More on this later......I finally did it on Saturday. Shopping in a dress - with a chum - trying on dresses.......
Postscript:
It was a while till the dresses got seen -Vicky saw them only recently and Jaqui even wore my blue coast dress to a dinner party and the grey warehouse one to work. She got loads of compliments too....which is also nice...I like to think I have good taste in shoesw etc -so when a girl wears my things and they go down well - it's gives me a wee lift!
Nude heels, yesterday.Tights by Pretty Polly, dress Topshop.
Legs - me.
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